being a OFW is a great word... in the philippines they call us "bagong bayani" when im still in the philippines all i do is to sit eat and wait for the allowance from my parents but now im here in canada working in a hotel at first i find it so enjoyable but time goes by im working so damn hard... im trying to love my work but anger would feel in me...

why anger? it's because i ask myself why some "puti" are so tamad!!!!

but i came to realize that im here for my family... yes my family.. my sisters & parents..

every bruises in my hand, every burn is worth a $ sign that i can send to my family in the philippines.

earning dollars is not easy because you also pay a $ hard work..

kaya hindi madaling kitain ang pera dito.but it's worth sacrificing for because it's for them... even my happiness (mine) i left it all in the philippines just for them. oh God how i miss him so much!!! but im fighting to be strong here...

it's for my family sake...

                                               God be all the glory!

whew! time run so fast... i could still rememeber the time im at home spending tym with my sisters & mine and now i here working my butt here in banff alberta canada....

i would always receive tx lyk this " wow honey earning dollars kana now" shit!!!! if u only knew how hard to work in a foreign country where racist is so common problem... i had a bad experience unforgatable but i know one day i can cope things up...

there is one thing whois making me strong here it's God... he is my everything....till nxt blog guys...

mwuaah...

proud to be pinay!

Psalms 23:2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

Psalms 23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

As I was remembering the people who tries to pull me down.. I come realize that there so many people who truly loves me so much im so blesses to have them in my life...

so many people to thank but so little time tell the whole world....

no time left...  KAY DAKU NA AKONG MABAYARAN SA NET HAHAHA... ANA LANG!

every little things that has been happening in my life I rely it on to God... I read the bible but Im not religious... before i just posted i was ging to victory church in ortigas but now im in NEW LIFE alabang.. i just SAid im not religious because I know the true church in US.. yes us... i miss blogging so much.. i have so many things  write about.... i have few minutes left..

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. - hehehe. true.. sometimes wild ideas.

Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. - can't explain, ( but u can ask pipol close to me, maybe they can answer. hehehe.)

Fine and strong clairvoyance.- somehow..

Can become good doctors.  I want to be a doctor when i was a kid.. Karon fake lang na doctor.. love to read medical books.. hmm.

Dynamic in personality. Very Dynamic jud...

Secretive. - eventually i learned to keep things on my own.. secretive nko karon. toinks!

Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. - i love to ask question, & from the answers somehow naa jud koy ma learn & ma find out. hahahaha.

Always thinking. - not really (case to case), . Ayokong mag isip.. Just flow..

Less talkative but amiable.- huh?? I don't talk to much if dli tka kaila, & if dli nako feel ang kuyog..

High-spirited. Well-built and tough,  Brave and generous. I receive Most Generous when I was in Grade 3. hehehe.

Brave?? - cguro. mahadlok man mga pipol sa ko, maldita dw ko. Isog kau.

Patient. - Taaaasssss juuuudddd kkooooggg  passseeennnsssyyyyaa. USAHAY!

Stubborn and hard-hearted.- TRUE! Stubbron jud, . but I try to adjust..

If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up.- This is Really me!

Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. - yup.. ayaw jud i provoke kay sure jud ko mag mahay ka.. toinks!

Loves to be alone. - lately yes.. Para walay samok. owwwsss loner nko kron.

Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. - I love to be different.. whew! ASTIG!

Motivates oneself. - yes, if i can't motivate myself wala nay mag motivate sko.

Does not appreciate praises.- hahaha. rude kau ni uy! but true, dli ko gusto gna appreciate.. maulaw ko. toinks!

. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. - i dunno.. dli man ko showy..

Uncertain in relationships. - hahaha..

Homely. - yes.. mag movie marathon na lng ko..

Hardworking. - I want excellent result!

High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets.- A Brother's Keeper!

Not able to control emotions. - I CAN CONTROL MY EMOTION.. Thats 1 thing I am sure!

Unpredictable. - Wild ko mag think thats why u can't predict.

Ammmm.. 95% cguro ako na.. That's why Im born on Nov. hahaha.

i m just browsing the net found this letter... I cried so much for this letter...

Good day everyone,

I wish I were writing under different circumstances.

I would like to inform you that my wife Leslie Cruz was part of the casualties in the Glorietta 2 Mall bombing in Makati City, Philippines. She was supposed to have a minor out patient surgery at Makati Medical Center at 230pm.

I had taken a leave from work to accompany her there. We dropped off our daughter, Amber, at my parents place in QC to babysit at around 10am. We then proceeded to Makati and was there at 1230pm. Since she had been fasting in preparation for her procedure, she wanted to move around and listen to some music while I grabbed a bite to eat. We parked at the basement of Park Square 2, and headed for the Glorietta 2 entrance. We parted at the top of the escalator, she turned right towards Filbar’s while I went left towards the restaurants. That was the last time I would see her.

Around 120pm, she had called me so that we can meet at the Glorietta 2 exit just in time to make her appointment. As I made my way there from Glorietta 1 through the connecting hallways, and was about to turn the corner, I heard 2 deep thumps and the shock-wave from the blast hit me. At that moment my heart dropped as I knew that the origin of the blast came from the same place where we were supposed to meet. I tried getting to where my wife was, but the dust was too much and it was as if I was staring at a white wall.

I still tried to convince myself that she was able to make it out, and that after ringing her mobile without a response only meant that she dropped it in the confusion. After 6 hours of searching from Makati Med. to Ospital ng Makati, the blast site, and back again to MMC - with the help of all the people I could get hold of, that I was able to get confirmation in what the state of my wife was.

My Dad and Uncle signaled me in from the ER of MMC. My Uncle (who’s a doctor) asked me to describe Leslie’s appearance to another group of doctors. I saw in the eyes of one that the description made sense. Instead of confirming it to me, they huddled together, then brought me to a small examination room. It was only through a digital camera that I was able to confirm (and deny) that she was indeed gone.

I have so many regrets. I should have met her sooner. I should have ran instead of a brisk walk. I should have not chose to park where I did. I should have braved the dust and went in the blast site. I should have …

Today’s the 4th day. It is still terribly difficult to breathe, let alone wake up realizing that your source of strength, your best friend doesn’t lie beside you on your bed. That my deepest worry is when Amber starts asking for her Mama.

I am glad that Amber’s too young to understand the loss and pain. In time I would like to tell her the details of how her mother died, but more importantly I would like to raise her as how her mother lived - a loving person, strong willed, decisive, caring, and nurturing. She has always cared for her family and friends, and sacrfied her career for being a full time mom and home maker.

As with all couples we had our ups and downs - none of which I regret not going through. The sweet is never as sweet without the sour. For almost 4 years of marriage, we’ve finally hit our balance in life only to be taken away in an instant. I have no regrets about our marriage. She has loved me and Amber beyond her capacity. I will always love her.

It is my first time to write to egroup as I’ve lurked and watched emails being sent to and fro. All I want now is that for each of the couples here is to cherish each moment that we spend with our loved ones. Pretty simple to say, very easy to take for granted.

Thank you all for the prayers. I would still like to ask you to please include Leslie in them until her 40th day so that the path to God’s kingdom is well lit and she is no longer in the dark.

Sincerely,

Carlo Cruz